Okay, gotta keep this one short and sweet. Weigh-in was not great, but not bad, either. I had carried a few dollar bills in with me, just in case. But I was down.....whew! Down 1.1 pounds. For our workout tonight, they took us out of the building and had use do a power walk with pushing for jogging/running. I ran more tonight than I have on my own lately. I just kept telling myself what my sister-in-law says.......it doesn't have to be fast. So at one point I was jogging next to a power-walker at the same pace while we were talking. Okay, it worked.

Headed out to the lake in the morning. See you all when I get back.

Already Thursday Again

Wow! It's already Thursday again and I haven't blogged since the weekend. Well, I think I have done well so far this week in the food area. However, I haven't been getting my walks in. I have had to spend the time from when I get off work until after dark working over at my house painting and such instead. (House = major other issue.) It would be nice to say that I was working enough there to make up for the walking, but that would be a lie. Tonight is weigh in, so we will see how it goes. I feel like my clothes are more loose this week, but the last time I felt I noticed it more was the worst week of weight loss. So I am not banking on that. Have to see. Maybe one day I'll buy a decent scale to have in the house so I can follow better. But...I kinda like not having one here so I get my feedback once a week. (I have an old scale here, but it depends on how you stand on it, how many times you stand on it, etc.....so it is far from accurate enough to let me know about a couple of pounds.)

There will be no hike this weekend. For many of us Tucsonians, it is a four day weekend. This is "Rodeo Week" in Tucson. I LOVE the rodeo and parade and rodeo concert that is involved. However, many locals use the time to get out-of-town for the weekend because it is not an official holiday, therefore cheaper and less crowded at most places. So lots head to Vegas, San Diego, Rocky Point, MX, etc. Some years I have stayed and enjoyed the local events. This weekend, however, we are going camping. Staying in town today so I can make my Biggest Loser class tonight, then heading out early in the morning for two nights. Several of the other hikers are also heading out of town. I am hoping that the place we are camping will afford me the opportunity to do some hiking on my own. I have never been there, so I'm not sure yet.

Well, I have to go finish getting things ready for our adventure tomorrow, so I need to get off this computer. I will be back this evening to post the results of my weigh in. See ya then.

Happy Surprise

Here it is Saturday night. We had our hike today. It wasn't as long as last week's. We had someone in our group that could not put in as much time, so we started earlier and cut it a little short. I believe it was almost 4.5 miles. Afterwards, a fellow BL went with me to check on the gym. The orientation class was already full, so we didn't get to become certified to use the weight room. We did check out the rest of the place. The track is really nice except that it's short, so it takes 12 times around to make a mile. We joked about who we would have to bring to sit and count our laps for us. Anyway, looks like she and I are going to try to get to the next orientation class on Tuesday morning if we can work it out around our work schedules. In the meantime, we can drop in and use the track if we want. Don't know yet if we will try to do that before Tuesday or not. I am excited about going.

I was so pleasantly surprised when I logged on to read Cara's blog tonight. She had a link for a blog my brother has started. I love that I will get to read his thoughts as he shares in this same battle we are all fighting. He is an amazing man. And I know that once he sets his mind to something, I mean really sets it, nothing is going to get in his way. I hate that we have lived so far away from one another for so many years, so this will be a way to feel a bit closer.

This week's weigh-in

Okay, this one has to be fairly quick as I should already be in bed. Tonight was weigh-in. I'm proud to say I was the biggest loser from our group this week. Unfortunately, it's because as a whole, our group didn't do so well. But I was down another 2.6 pounds. That's a total so far of 14.3. Seems like it's already been forever to only be that far, but I have to keep things in perspective, and it's really not a bad total loss.

This week I only got in my walk last night, and then had the workout at our meeting tonight. Tomorrow night probably won't get my walk in, so maybe I'll get a chance to go to the park during lunch and do some walking. Then we are meeting at 7am (ugh) Saturday morning for our weekly hike. I'm hoping perhaps the timing will be right afterwards to stop by a new fitness center I have heard about and get their "instruction class" so I can start going there. It's a place run by city parks, so it is very inexpensive. $1.25 per visit, or $35 for three months. Sounds great to me. I understand they have an indoor track, workout room with weights and cardio machines, heated pool that will open again in April, and much more.

Anyway, my bed is calling. I really need some sleep tonight. More later.

You Got Me

Okay, so Cara called me on it. It's been a week since I last wrote. And what a week it has been. Lots of issues happening within my life, but that's a different subject. We are here for the weight issue. Well, at weigh-in on Thursday I was down 0.8 pounds. Not much, I know, but a surprise none the less. I actually went in with cash in hand expecting to have gained. The workout was a real doosie. We were using those half-ball things for part of it (I forget what she called them). I discovered I don't have great balance! But it was a good workout. In fact, I went a bit overboard. I could feel my calves were getting too much, but not wanting to look like I couldn't handle it, I kept trying to keep up with the higher intensity version. I knew I would regret it later, and I did. It always seems I am not sore from the Thursday night workout until late Friday or Saturday morning. Well, we had our hike this Saturday morning and oh boy! We hiked 6.3 miles this week, and it took the first three miles for my calves to finally loosen up and quit screaming at me. The whole hike was just off for me. I am usually up with the front three people keeping a great pace. For some reason I just couldn't seem to sinc up with them. I know in the beginning it was because my calves hurt too badly, but once I got past that, I still just couldn't seem to get into it right. So I fell behind the front group I usually hike with, but was still ahead of the slower part of our group. I also know a large part of this is probably because I did not do my walks this week....not since our hike last weekend. Hmmm....a lesson to learn there, huh? The hike itself was really cool. Lots of climbing.....funny how it seems you go up much more than you go down, isn't it? We were on familiar trail most of the way, and then added a new trail while we were the farthest out. We ended up at a small dam. Because of our cold weather last week, we had snow on the mountains, and it was melting. There was actually water running through some of the creeks. Living in the desert, that is always a special treat. It really was beautiful! Okay, so this week will be better. I will get back to my walks, and do better with my food and water. I wasn't especially bad last week, just never got all my water in, and it seems every day I had one little something with too many carbs.....seriously, just a little something, but they add up obviously. And I know being stressed makes your body less willing to let the weight go, so hopefully this week will be better all around!

Thanks, Cara, for the encouring words! You are awesome!

Catch-up

So here it is Sunday night and I haven't written since Tuesday. Wasn't really excited with my weigh-in last Thursday. I was down one pound. I know, I know......at least it was down. But I had been SOOO good at getting in all my water, and wasn't feeling hungry hardly ever, so my food intake was minimum. But....I wasn't my best on Superbowl Sunday or at lunch with my son Tuesday. However, I did get my walks in and my workout at the BL meeting. Didn't walk Friday night a I spent the evening with my family :-) Saturday we hiked. This time a little over five miles. We took a new trail that was more of a workout. More ups and downs....definitely had us breathing hard! It felt great! Didn't walk today. I just didn't think of it this morning as my walks are usually in the evening. It started raining this afternoon and has kept going. It might be raining tomorrow also.....so maybe (yes, I said *maybe*) I'll stop by the YMCA. That will require facing the shame of having not been there in many months, but so be it. I haven't been getting all my water in this weekend. Things have been off kilter, but routine should be back starting tomorrow, so I plan to easily get the water back on track.

I have to take a moment here to brag about my sister-in-law. If you read my very first blog, you know she is the one that has inspired me to start this blog. Well, she ran her very first 5 km race yesterday!! Yes....RAN!! I am SO proud of her and how far she has come. Keep up the great work, Cara! I love you!

Here's to a great week ahead.

He's A Sweetie

First things first. I have to give credit where it is due. My guy has actually taken time to read through some of my blogs. When he read about my struggle the other night with the ice cream he felt badly thinking he was a part of the problem. I told him it was not his problem, but mine. I need to learn to deal with my internal issues. He offered to only have ice cream when I'm not around. I told him he didn't need to do that, but if he could just maybe go to a different flavor that would help. He's such a sweetie when he wants to be! As of yet, he hasn't had any more ice cream in front of me. I don't want that to be the way things have to be, so I will encourage him to have some one of these nights to let him know it's okay. Anyway, I just wanted to share that.

I tried the Zumba class last night with two other ladies from our BL class. It reminded me a lot of line dancing, just different moves and music, and I'm sure it would be fun with the right people, but none of the three of us was too terribly impressed with it for a real workout at this point. Maybe down the road, but not for now. And, it is a bit pricey.

I did my two mile walk tonight. It was the first time since last Wednesday when I had such a hard time with it. (Thursday night was class, Friday I didn't walk because we went out after work with friends, Saturday was the hike, Sunday was superbowl, so back to today.) I had no problem getting my water in today. I just couldn't seem to get enough for awhile. Was fairly good with the food. I got to have lunch with my son (yeah!), so he picked Arby's. I ordered the chicken cordon bleu, no sauce, and then took it out of the bun. So it was chicken, ham, and a little cheese sauce (most of it stayed on the bun). Only problem is the chicken had a breading on it. Also (ouch....yes, there is an also) I had 4 mozerella sticks.....which were also breaded. Not so great there. Okay....I can do better tomorrow.

How About Those Steelers!!!!! WooHoo!

What a GREAT game the Superbowl was!!! I am so happy the Steelers won, mainly for my son. The room was crowded with Arizona fans.....nothing but red everywhere! So my son and I were the only black and gold colors in the room. Ahhhh......sweet victory! It was a great party!

I think I handled the food part of the day well. We got there and yes, there were already tons of food there with more yet to arrive. Eating was going on constantly. But I checked myself and I wasn't really hungry, so I left the food alone. A while later when I did feel myself getting hungry, I ate. Yes, I ate carbs. But I stayed in control of the amount. I ate a bit of nachos....not a full bowl....just put some chips on about a third of my plate and scooped some cheese over them. I also had 5 of those little weenies rolled in cresent rolls. That was enough, I was done. I walked away feeling plenty satisfied. Now, admittedly, later in the evening when desserts started being cut into, I did have a small piece of the cream cheese pie we had brought over. And later, we had a birthday boy there with a cake that looked so good. I originally said no thank you to any of it. But I did end up eating 2 or 3 bites (not huge) off of my guy's piece. That was a "cave-in" moment. But that's okay. The rest of what I ate I had thought out and decided I would eat before I did. They were not moments of weekness. It was planned cheating, I guess, but because it was planned I stayed in control. And considering ALL the food that was there, all the mexican food that looked so good, and all the desserts, I am actually feeling good about how I handled the day. OH......and I got in my four bottles of water while I was there, too. I had taken one soda with me, but never opened it. Just drank water the entire time. No soda, no shots, no anything else. As we got home I started to feel hungry. But I didn't give into it. I knew I had eaten enough food and that the feeling hungry was probably just the blood sugar levels changing because of the carbs I had eaten. So I went to bed without reacting to it.

Tonight I may try a new exercise class with a few other ladies from our biggest loser class. It's Zumba.....suppose to be dance exercise class. I let you know how it goes.

Here's to Monday and a great start to a successful week!

Last Night's Struggle

Yesterday morning we went on our weekly hike. The trail we covered this time was 4.8 miles. This week felt much easier than the first two weeks. Not sure why except that I'm getting use to them. Soon we will have to bump the distance up. We can see some trails that will take us on a much longer and more difficult route and are looking forward to when we can attempt those. Those trails will require us to pack some food and commit a larger portion of the day. But it is something we are all looking forward to. In the meantime, we went to breakfast afterwards and I was better this time. I only had an omelet with meat and cheese in it. I did have my diet soda, first one since last week's breakfast. So I have been good.

I do have to say, I had a really rough time last night internally. I had to struggle with some emotions regarding food and being good. For anyone that doesn't know, ice cream is one of the top three favorite foods in the world to me.......and more to the point, chocolate chip cookie dough. I love to have some in the evening while watching tv. That's just how it is. But of course, I have not been doing that. Now, when you live with other people, you can't expect them to give up what you yourself can't have. That's not fair. So when he mentioned before about there being ice cream in the house, I was okay. Last night I actually spotted the ice cream in the freezer and realized it was.......of all flavors......chocolate chip cookie dough. AHHHH!!!! So later he mentioned he might have some and I could feel the emotional struggle inside. No, I knew I wasn't going to have any, but dang it! Well, as I worked myself out of the feelings, he never got any. Okay, I survived the moment. A little later in the evening, still feeling a bit deprived of my ice cream, I decided to see if I could find something sensible to nibble on. Well, I decide I would slice up a hotdog very thin and fry the pieces to give me bites of something to nibble on. I should have just not done anything, because that went back to the idea of eating in front of the tv, something I need to learn not to do. Anyway, I started to slice up my hotdog when what happens? He comes in to get ice cream. He's standing RIGHT BESIDE ME. I see the box. I read the words "chocolate chip cookie dough". I hear the rriiiiiippp of the strip being pulled off the box to open it. (Sweet music!) My inner soul is churning! Then he tells me how he always has a hard time getting those boxes open. So, I reach over and grab the box and open it for him (a skill I know all too well). He grabs a spoon and walks away eating MY FAVORITE ice cream out of the box. I stand there trying to get my composure back and I just wasn't strong enough. I walked away to the bathroom and ended up getting in the shower. (The shower has always been my safe place to go when I know tears are coming.) It was awful. All I could think was the unfairness of it all. Some people smoke, drink, eat all they want without gaining, and much worse. I have never smoked, never touched any kind of drugs, could easily live my life without another drop of alcohol in it, but my vice is enjoying the wrong foods. So why is it other people can do ALL of the above without issue while I can't even enjoy the foods I want. It is just so unfair. So as I release all these emotions into tears while in the shower, I start to try to think my way out of it. First, I can't be mad at him because he wants to enjoy ice cream (but did it have to be THAT flavor?) Second, I'm only 2 and a half weeks into this. I have to remember my goals and remember what it is I have to learn while getting there. Intuitive eating......that's how it was put to us in our biggest loser class last week. She tells us no food is off limits if we learn to eat intuitively. We learn to eat when we are physically hungry, not emotionally hungry. Everything about last night was emotional hunger. I was physically satisfied with my dinner and not hungry. And once I get where I want to be with my weight, I can learn again how to enjoy those special treats as special treats. A rare offering in a much smaller scale, granted. And I know that will be the tough part. That is why I don't allow myself "just a little" of those things right now. A little would not be enough. I would want more, and I'm not ready to handle that yet. And in the meantime, he can have all the ice cream of whatever flavor he wants, because this is not about him. This is about what I am doing for ME! No one else. And as much as I would like to temptation-proof my home environment, that's just not possible when there are other people in the picture. Our biggest loser leader talks a lot about how our environments (home, work, places we go) tend to take control of us, but we have to get that control back. If we can't change our environment or not go where the temptations are, then we have to learn to overcome then so that WE are in charge, not the environment. Just late at night after being good all day, I guess my defenses are a bit down and it's a little more difficult for me. But....I won last night. I didn't have any ice cream. And when I got out of the shower, I went into the kitchen and put the hotdog slices I had prepared in the fridge. I didn't need those either. I came back into the living room getting my mind where it needed to be. It was a tough struggle, but I did it. One of many, many struggles yet to come, I know.

And today is Superbowl.....and we are headed off to my son's in-laws. There will be SO MUCH food (Mexican families always have tons of food when guests are coming.) This will be a tough day, to say the least. I have decided that I will not refuse everything in front of me. Today I may (actually most likely) stray some. But my plan is to scope it all out, decide if there is something that I know I will give in to, and then plan to have some when I feel the physical need, not the emotional need, to eat. Tiny amounts. And staying as close to no carbs as possible. (Not sure that is possible with mexican food...lol). Anyway, I will not beat myself up while in the presence of all these people, but I have promised myself that I WILL be in control. I WILL think before I eat. I WILL not have to come home feeling guilty.

Good luck to everyone else facing this struggle today........AND GO STEELERS!