Back at it again......and it felt SOO good!

I finally did it. I finally ran again. Not as good as before this all happen, but at least back to it. When I first started running I had this amazing feeling.....this body memory thing.....an "oh yeah" moment of this is what I've been missing.

I walked two laps, ran three, walked one, ran two, walked one, ran one, and then continued the rest of the two miles alternating a walk lap with a run lap. A long way away from doing a complete mile without stopping, but a start. I knew I would have to build back up again, but I don't think it will take too long. I won't be able to hit the track today because I have a work-related class this afternoon. But that is a good thing as I need to build up slow on this ankle again. I think skipping a day between for now will be a good idea. I have to remember patience is necessary to do this right. But at least I am back at it again!!!!

Half a Month Later

Goodness! It's been half a month since I last blogged. Okay, so some catch-up. I started my physical therapy and it has really helped. You know, they say the older you get the slower you heal. Well, guess I am officially "older", because it sure seems to be taking a long time to heal this ankle! My therapist didn't want to release me to start running again yet. She did finally agree this week to let me hit the track to start walking my two miles. She told me to try it, see how it all felt the next day. She said that IF I felt no pain at all, I could start putting small spurts of running into the walking, but that she would really rather I'd wait for one more week. Well, I hit the track the next day (Thursday) and did my two miles walking. Admittedly, yes, I did feel it in my ankle the next day. Okay, so she knows what she is talking about. No running yet. Friday instead of hitting the track, I walked in the mall while on a movie date. Didn't do any real walking yesterday, but was on my feet all day as I was redoing a closet and going through stuff. Didn't finally sit down until about 7:30 pm. After sitting for a bit I could feel my ankle throbbing, so put some ice on it. Later today we are going to the park for a music festival, so I will be walking there. Thinking I will try to stop at the track after work tomorrow. I am caught between not wanting to over-do and delay the healing and getting back to working out. I feel like my body is ready to start loosing weight again. I had felt like I was at a plateau, but last week, even without exercising, I got on the scale and saw the lowest number I have seen in years and years. I won't have any "official" weigh-ins right now. This session of "biggest loser" has ended and I have not signed up for anything more. The price as increased each session to the point that it will now cost for one month what I originally paid for 12 weeks. Time to look around for something different. Besides, it wasn't being very effective for me this last time anyway. So, once I get the "all clear" from my therapist, I will find something else to help motiviate me. For now, I am just thrilled to not be gaining during this down time. And, to be completely honest, I have not exactly been on track with my food plan, either. (Which is what surprises me about the loss and convinces me my body is ready to lose again.)
We'll see how this week goes.

Feeling better justified about my injury

It's been awhile since I wrote last. I've been a bit embarassed. I was afraid I was being a "wiennie". Since my fall, I haven't been able to get back to anything. I went to my biggest loser session last week.....and dang it, their workout included going outside for a run. I had been waiting on that since I was now able to go the distance. But, I was still having issues with my ankle, so they had me stay inside and ride the stationary bike. I then tried to keep up somewhat with the class when they came back inside to workout. Was able to do the upper body part, but not the lunges and such. Then I was hurting from it the next day. This past Saturday I went out with Steve to walk, tried running about 10 - 15 feet to see how it would feel, and it was not good. I was sore afterwards. Walking has been okay, but while just sitting, such as at my desk at work, I would get pains, and it has still been swelling every day. So okay, I finally broke down and went to the doctor yesterday. Guess I did some real damage. From what he saw on the xrays, no breaks. He is having a radioligist confirm that today. Assuming the xrays are clear, he has put me on "contrast bath" treatments, a splint, told me to stay off it when possible, and wants me in physical thearapy for four weeks to re-strengthen the muscles. And this is all 2 and a half weeks after it happen. So, I guess I still won't be hitting the track for a bit. Can't do the workout at biggest loser this week as he wants me off my feet as much as possible. This is SOOO frustrating! I had just achieved a goal, and now I am so afraid of where I will have to start again to get back to it. My biggest fear, although probably completely unfounded, is not being able to run again. So many people have been telling me how once they had this kind of injury it was never the same and they couldn't do the same things they had done before. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT!!

Improving

Here it is Wednesday morning. I haven't been able to run/walk since the fall on Saturday. My ankle is finally looking better. The swelling wasn't as bad yesterday and it doesn't hurt to walk on it. I've almost got full range of motion with it, but it's still tight when I bend it forward into the position it would be when I run. I think my knee is actually going to hold me back longer than my ankle. It's still a bit swollen and the skin still feels tight with much motion. Part of the wound is still open. My arm is better, finally all closed up, but still sensitive to put any pressure on. My back has improved each day, just after sitting at my desk all day at work I can feel it, but not nearly as bad as the first day or two. So all in all, everything is better, but I'm frustrated because I had finally reached a goal and then I'm dead in the water. I am thinking I may go to the track after work tonight to at least walk some and maybe test out how things feel if I try to run. I have weigh-in tomorrow night and I know I am probably in trouble since I haven't worked out since last week's weigh-in.

Leave it to me.....miss graceful

I called my mom this morning and told her she should have at least given me the middle name of "Grace"....cause that's about as close as I would come to having any! This weekend is a working weekend for me, so this morning instead of waiting for the track to open to run, I decided to hit the dead end road by the house like I do sometimes. So out I went on my merry way, feeling good about not using work as an excuse to not do it. Well, about half way back I somehow stepped wrong, twisted my ankle, and down I went. Fortunately, Steve had his cell phone on so I was able to call him to come get me. Man oh man! If I do something, I do it right! Even after having ice on it most of the day, my ankle still looks like there is an egg under the skin right on the ankle. The knee on my other leg took the brunt of the fall and the skin is tore up. Ripped the skin on my forearm pretty good as well. That was the obvious damage. I finally made my way in to work, and now that I am back home I have come to realize I must have twisted my back as well. I feel like I have been beat. How sad what can come from taking one step wrong. I just want everything to heal quickly so I don't have to miss too many days of exercise.

Meanwhile, I did hit the track Wednesday and did my mile plus a lap before I started walking between sets of running laps. Thursday was biggest loser workout, but I only went for the weigh-in, didn't stay for the workout. Decided I wanted to be a good friend that night instead. Anyway, I was up 0.8 pounds from the week before. So see, I need to heal quickly because I need to work a little harder this week.

I just wanted to give a shout out to Weight by the Seashore. Thank you so much for your continued support! Hugs!

I did it!

I did it! I have achieved my one-mile-without-stopping mile! I ran....er....jogged....er slowly jogged a full mile all in one shot. And it wasn't on the indoor track, it was outside here at home. That meant some up hills (okay, down hills, too...lol). I ran and walked the mile back home. Yeah....one mile!

I just have to share

I know this blog is about weight loss, but I just have to share something else. For those that don't know, my son is in the Army as a mental health specialist. Today he left for Iraq. If all goes well, he will only be there a couple weeks, so that alone is plenty to be thankful for. But I have to share the story of last night.

I have the best friends in the world! Last night some of us went out to the Cactus Moon. I casually made the comment that at 9:00 it would be 6:00 a.m. Saturday in Germany and my son was starting his journey to Iraq, so I wanted to do a toast then. Well, I hope Craig could feel the love from here. I was sitting and chatting when I suddenly realized I am hearing my son's name being announced. The band was announcing how he was headed to Iraq and that I was there and so the whole club was sending him love and thoughts for his journey. Then at 9:00, the band stopped playing and everyone toasted.

I had several drinks last night (bad for calories, great for loosening up) and danced SOOO much, I know I burned off every calorie I drank. I danced with everyone at our table....male and female. I was as sweaty as I am after working out......but what a fun way to get the burn! And when I got on the scale this morning......no gain! Yeah! Also, I went out and ran 9/10ths of a mile non-stop, then ran/walked the rest of the two miles. I am SOOO close to running that full mile!

Weigh-in results...very tiny

Just a quick note. Weighed in last night at class.....was only down 0.2. But at least it was "down", right? I guess as long as it is a step in the right direction, all is good.

Outdoors again

I didn't get a blog in last night......don't think I ever sat down at the computer. But I did do my exercise :-) As I was leaving work I realized the temperature had dropped a great deal thanks to the storms we had coming in, so instead of hitting the track, I decided to go home and use the original two mile trek I started walking on all those months ago. By time I got home it had already rained enough to put puddles all around. And then when I started out, it was sprinkling, which was actually kinda cool. Here in Arizona, we don't get much opportunity for anything like that. Since the route I go is a mile out and a mile back, I started out walking for 1 - 2 minutes, and then starting running, knowing I needed to make it all the way down without stopping in order to be sure I had done a minimum of three quarters of a mile at one time. It certainly wasn't fast, but I did it! There is a sign 1000 feet before the dead in, and I remember when I use to try to run from the sign to the end without stopping and couldn't do it. And now I ran almost the whole way. Did notice a difference in my ankles because the track is level and here I was going up and down small hills.....but it was just so cool to do it.

Anyway, off to weigh in and exercise with the biggest loser class in a few minutes. When I got on the scale this morning, it had me at 179.6. But that was first thing in the morning and undressed. Now it's evening and I'll be dressed as well as have on shoes, so I know it will be more. But it certainly was nice to see a number in the 170's. I can't wait until my official weigh-in number is there! It WILL happen!

Some accountability

I need to be more accountable for my actions.....exercise and food. So, I will try to check in more often just for confessional if nothing else.

Saturday I blogged that I had accomplished a non-walk 3/4 mile. Well, after that we went to a movie and lunch with friends. Hmmm.....lunch. Chile cheese fries.....split between us. And a scoop of ice cream. How's that for a happy choice lunch? Happy?....YES. Okay, so I said I would relax a bit on weekends because I want to be able to make decisions I can live with long term. Short term would be easy, but also easy for pounds to come back when I run out of drive. So, thinking I can be better all week if I know I am allowed to relax a bit on weekends. That night we went to friends to play cards, and I had a thin slice of cake with a spoon of ice cream. Uh oh.....ice cream twice in one day? And the problem is??? I know...just kidding. I should have said no to the cake and ice cream instead of asking for small portions. Sunday was better.

Exercise.........Well, Friday and Sundays are usually my days off from exercise, so didn't do any on Sunday. Suppose to hit the track on Monday. Well, I got to the parking lot, changed my shoes, but my stomach had been bothering me and I suddenly felt a need to get home to the bathroom, so never made it into the gym. But I did get there tonight......and I did manage another 3/4 mile on the first session of running. Then one walk lap, two run, one walk, three run, one walk, three run, then cool down two laps. I will definitely have to be there again tomorrow night.

Beyond the half mile

Another new milestone! I hit the track yesterday morning, and instead of making the first session of running half a mile, I managed to make it three quarters of a mile! At that point I walked a lap and did 2 1/2 to 3 laps between walking laps to hit my two miles. The most exciting thing about this, though, is that now I know when the next breast cancer run/walk comes in April, I will be able to sign up for the one mile and do it as a run. I have walked the 5 km versions before and wished that I could run them. Well, there's still plenty of time between now and April, so who knows. But for this moment, I am dwelling on the fact that I can run the one mile version. R..U..N. I know others do that in a blink, but for me using that word in such a way is an amazing thing. I know I can commit to it and do it, a very new way of thinking.

I paid attention and have an official number

Weigh-in last night. Down 1.2 pounds. I paid attention this time and my official weight at biggest loser this week is 183.2. Yeah....that means I get to keep up my 35 pounds lost sign. It's funny. I work for a school district, and I work 12 months. But most of the people I work with work 9.5 months, so just got back to work last week. I am getting so many people asking me if I have lost weight. It amazes me because I haven't lost any really over the summer, it was mostly between January and June, while they were still here. I appreciate the compliments but feel a bit like a phony because I haven't done any real loss in months now. So, just have to make sure each week has a loss so I can catch up to the compliments already received.

Another half mile

Okay, not so many days between blogs this time. So, let's see. Since my blog last Saturday, what have I done? Since Friday and Sundays are usually my days off from exercising, didn't do any of that. My guy wanted to make spaghetti Sunday, so yes, I had pasta. I figure if I am in this for the long haul, then I will relax a bit on weekends with the diet. If I want something, I'll have it, I'll just keep it in control portion-wise. Monday I didn't make it to the track.....let myself think something else was more important...turned out it definitely was not....lesson learned. Yesterday I was literally on my way out the door, half way through the front door actually, when my phone rang and it was someone wanting to come pick up something they had bought from me. Well, they live far enough away that I couldn't put them off till later, but they were going to be there a bit too soon for me to have time to get to the track and do my thing and get home. So, since I couldn't go, I decided to get out and do some yardwork instead. Not as intense, but at least I was doing something instead of sitting while I was waiting on them to show up. Today I finally made it back to the track. And, yeah!, I did a half mile again. I walked my two laps, ran my 6 laps (1/2 mile), and then upped the number of laps I ran between walking a lap for the rest of the two miles. I am feeling the progress and it inspires me. I can see being able to run the whole mile without stopping to walk just around the corner. I WILL get there!

Tomorrow is my biggest loser class. I will try to pay better attention at weigh-in and get a definite number so I can update my stats here.

A Personal Best......So Far

Here it is two and a half weeks since my last blog. Shame on me!

Well, my next session of biggest loser is underway. I cannot share the exact numbers from weigh-ins as I don't remember them. What I can say is that the first weigh-in was less than two pounds more than my final weigh-in last session (which was first week in June). Considering the travels and hit-and-miss with my diet and exercise, not too shabby. I know that the second week I was down....I think just a little less than two pounds. Last week I was down, but was chatting and didn't pay attention to the numbers to get an exact number, but Vera made the comment that I was down two pounds....so about that. So...I am losing again. The problem with the numbers is I now have a good scale at home and get on it often and then get the numbers mixed with the one at my official weigh-in. It seems their scale is almost two pounds more than mine. Anyway....downward progress is always good. I just need to pay better attention next time to get a real number to start working with.

Meanwhile, I acheived a personal best this weekend. Anyone that has read my blogs knows I hit the indoor track and walk/run. I am now up to doing 2 laps of running for every one lap of walking. However, I try to do more than two the first time around. I have done as many as four laps at one time on my first round. But getting back on track this week I was doing three laps for my first round. Well, Saturday morning I don't know what possessed me, but once I started my first round, I kept going and made six laps.....that is half a mile. Now I know for everyone else that is running, half a mile is nothing. But for me, running half a mile without stopping to walk is a personal best since I was 25 years old (23 years ago). It definitely helped in the motivation department! When I first started adding running to my walks, my thought was would I ever be able to run a mile without stopping to walk. Well.....I am half way there! Now I don't expect to necessarily be able to do it again tomorrow, but we'll see. Some days just seem to work better than others, while some days it takes everything I have to make it around the next corner of that darn track.

Okay, new start. Tomorrow starts the next session of Biggest Loser at the fitness center. Tomorrow night I weigh in for my starting weight and then have our first class. So I will report my weight according to their scale and use it as my springboard to get back at it all.

Yeah, it's been awhile again between posts. I really need to get better at this.

I still haven't gotten back into full routine yet for losing weight. I have been hitting the track, just not as often as I should be. I also haven't gotten myself back on track with my eating. I'll use my birthday as part of an excuse. No one should have to diet around their birthday when people are suprising them with cakes and ice creams, after all. And then this past weekend I was out-of-town. (My sweetie is visiting family in Ohio for two weeks...had a high school reunion this past weekend and a wedding next weekend. Unfortunately, work prevented me from being able to go the two weeks with him, so I went up this past weekend for the reunion and had a great time!) Okay, so the excuses aren't so great.

For my birthday, my daughter got me a really nice scale. So now I'm on the scale all the time and it is amazing how quickly my weight can change in just hours. I know I need to back off from it, but it's still a new toy...lol. I've also been on it a lot to be sure I am not gaining a lot back during this "bad" time of mine. The next biggest loser session at the fitness center starts next week, and I have paid my registration. Guess that means I'm committed to another 10 weeks of real effort to get some more pounds off. Got a week and two days till the first weigh-in, but I'm going to try to start getting back on track this week. Going to be a crazy week with work....I'm sure starting Wednesday I'll be putting in some long hours and working through the weekend. But hopefully it will only be a week of the long extra hours for now. More will come in a couple weeks, and then more in September. It is all too easy to not exercise and to eat poorly in those conditions with the people I will have around me, but I have to make a promise to myself to not let it get in my way.

Back at it again

Okay, it's time to get things back on track here, including my blogging. First, I have to say, I had a FABULOUS vacation visiting my son and his wife in Germany. I don't have the words to share what I felt. I have lived in Germany myself, twice when my dad was stationed there, and once when my ex-husband was stationed there. The first time I was too young to remember much. The second time I was in high school and graduated while there. Because I was in the band, I got to travel a lot, but didn't realize just how lucky I was, because, afterall, it was how I spent my high school years. The last time I lived there as an adult, but in our early years of marriage and therefore, money was tight most of the time and/or he could never get time away from work, so we simply lived there rather than take advantage of our opportunities. I must say, however, that there is difference that I think is quite huge. The last time I lived there was 1982-1985. My son was born there and we experienced our first VCR while there. There was so much around me that I wasn't even aware of. However, times are SO very different now! With computers and gps systems, there's no excuse to not know what is nearby or how to get there. Just as a "for instance", we drove by one of the places I had once lived, and in route, Steve pointed out a building and asked what it was. I didn't know. When we got home that night I looked on the internet and discovered it was a summer palace for past royalty. I had no idea! Thanks to the internet, my daughter-in-law was able to do searches to find things for us to get out to explore that were near enough to not cost a lot of travel money. What a whole new way to discover your surroundings!

The other thing that really struck me was odd. I grew up a military brat, then was a military wife, so until recent years, have spent my whole life on the move. Until moving to Tucson, I had never lived more than 3 1/2 years in one place, averaging about 2 1/2 years per location. Home for me has always been where ever I was. My family refers to Florida as "home" because it is where both my parents come from (my dad originally from NY). But Florida has never called to me. Actually, no PLACE ever has. Tucson was my ex's last duty assignment, this is where we were when the divorce took place, my son was in high school and I had a good job, so wasn't emotionally prepared to uproot, so this is where I am now. Well, for the first time in my life, a place called out to me. While in Germany I felt a calling like I have never felt before. I felt that I should be there, NEED to be there, just for a year or two. I stood outside and looked around and felt safer, healthier, greener, and that it was calling to me, whispering in my ear. I have NEVER felt anything like that before. When it was time to go, I felt a real resolve that I would find my way back.

Now, back to reality. I did some checking on NAF jobs and they are only available to family members stationed in the area. I checked on Civil Service jobs, and in order to transfer you have to already be on "career track", which I believe means you have to already be at least three years employed. That would involved getting a new job, relocating, and hoping that in three years I could transfer. Sad thing of that is I don't know that I would still feel the urge to be there in three years. I am starting to sense other obligations coming my way that may not allow it at that time. I know it's now or never. So I started checking some other employment routes. I find job postings if I am willing to go back to my pre-kindergarten teaching. But to do the kind of work I do now would require me to be fluent in the German language. I know enough to get me around, but certainly nothing even close to enough to work in. I have one other thing I want to check on, but I am not holding my breath. I think with each day that passes, I realize it is simply a wishlist dream. If it doesn't happen now, it won't be able to happen later. But I guess that is how life goes.

Beyond all that, the reason I have this blog, the weight issue. Well, when I first arrived at my son's home, I got on their scale. And while I was there, the most I was ever up was three pounds, but that didn't stay. We were there for almost three weeks. I had given myself permission to enjoy food. I took my running shoes, but in truth never did any running. However, we walked ALOT! On days we didn't go anywhere, Steve and I took a half hour walk. But at least every other day we went somewhere, and on those days we walked for hours. One of the great joys of the country. We would usually park somewhere in the altstadt (old city) and then just set out on foot. I had in my mind three foods I definitely wanted while I was there. And, I found all three...lol. One of them was a cake, and I was afraid I wouldn't find it and was afraid to use the word I remembered it being called as I wasn't confident it was correct. But anytime we passed a bakery, I walked in to see, and found it.....in the little town next to where the kids live! When I asked her to say it for me, I was pretty darn close on what it was called, only had one letter in the long word wrong. Not too bad....lol. After all, we do remember the important things, right?

Since being back, I have tried to get back on track. The first week I hit the track a couple times to do my running/walking. Considering I hadn't run in a month, I was pleased with how I did. This past week, I didn't go but twice. I picked up a summer cold and was just miserable with sinus pain and trying to breathe. But got back there yesterday. I'm still not back on routine, but hopefully this week will be. I haven't been great with my food. I have to get my mind back in the game and get control of myself again. The last session of the biggest loser contest ended the week I left and the next session doesn't start until August. So I haven't had accountablity for weigh-ins. And not having a great scale at home, I'm not sure exactly where I stand. The home scale doesn't show much difference, but it has never been very accurate compared to my weigh-ins. I guess I should go stop by the fitness center and weigh in on that scale.

False Advertising? I need your opinion.

Hello everyone. I am back from my travels and will talk a bit about that ahead, but I have something I need your opinions on first, as I'm not sure what I should think. As those of you know that have read my blog in the past, I have been involved with a fitness club that has had a "Biggest Loser" program going since January. There have been two sessions so far. The first session ended in April and I won for my class. The second session ended in June. Well, I came home and went to their web site to see what was happening and what I may want to sign up for this time around and found my "before" and "after" pictures being used to help promote their programs. Okay, I'm sure that in something I signed I gave them the rights to use my pics, so that in itself is no big deal. However, when I saw the pictures, I was astounded at the false advertising. To be sure it wasn't just my opinion, I asked a few of my friends, some of which also have attended these sessions, and they agreed with me. So just now I saved the pics from the web site so that I could put them here with my story, and guess what? They saved to my computer in original form, not the form they use on their web site. So I want to paste the way it saved here and ask you to click on the link to their page and see the way they have it posted and ask you to please tell me what you think. I have been told that these pics are also on their door in a flyer format, so I will have to go by there while I am out today and see just how it looks there. In the meantime, I feel like this is false advertisement, at least on their web page. My fiance wants to call his friend at the newspaper about it, but I'm not sure I want to do that. I know if I do something like that, I obviously will be done with the fitness center, and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet, either. We have all seen ads for places with before and after pictures of their sucessful clients and want to believe what we see. But this just shows how easily false things can be. I think the real before and after pictures would be fine on their own. However, the way they used them sure does show what should be a much larger loss than what they stated I lost. Please share your thoughts with me, pro or con. I really do want some objective feedback with this. Thanks to anyone/everyone that takes a moment to do this.

Here are the true before and after pics as they should be (the way they saved to my computer). Okay, the pics posted at the top of the blog, but there they are. Now please, compare that to the squished and stretched versions located at the bottom of the page on this link.

http://www.focusfitnesstucson.com/BLprogress.html

The Old Man and His Beard

Do you remember the story of the old man and his beard? Short version is there was an old man that had grown his beard all his life. He was known for this and people came from all over to see him and his beard. One day, quite innocently, someone asked him if he slept with his beard under or over the covers. Having never thought about it before, the old man found he could not get comfortable either way and eventually had to cut it off in order to get a good night's sleep.

Well, I currently feel like that old man. On Saturdays, Steve goes with me to the track to do his walk while I do my thing. This past Saturday, quite innocently (seriously, he meant nothing beyond poking fun at me), he asked me if I could feel my butt jiggle when I ran. At that moment I simply laughed at him about it. However, on Monday while I was running I suddenly remembered his question. All of a sudden I realized that yes, I could feel it jiggling. All of a sudden nothing felt right, but I finished my run/walk. Next afternoon I went in and part way through same thing happen. When I thought of it, I felt like I was having a hard time running. Yesterday was national running day, and I had planned to push myself a bit more. But, there I was again. Shortly after starting, it suddenly popped back into my head. Yes, I could feel my butt jiggle as I ran. Suddenly I felt that I couldn't get my stride right. I was SO tempted to stop before I had completed my usual routine. I felt like I was having to work harder than normal to do what should be natural at this point. I was feeling drained physically too soon. No matter how I tried to distract myself, I kept feeling my butt muscles (and fat). I actually was feeling sore across my butt from the jiggling. Okay, what is wrong with me? This HAS to be all in my head, right? I've been doing this for months without a problem before. Why is this creating such a situation for me? And, of course, it's not like I can just say "don't think about it". Once it has popped into my mind, it seems to be all consuming while I'm running. Has anyone else had something like this happen? If so, how did you overcome it. I am finding that I am not looking forward to the track anymore, and in fact would welcome any excuse I can come up with right now to not go back anytime soon.

On another note, tonight is weigh-in. I may be in trouble this week. I have been being a bit "bad" everyday with my food. Sunday evening at dinner I had a homemade biscuit and serving of pasta with corn in it. Considering I am doing low carb, that was three no-no's in one meal. BAD, BAD, BAD. Otherwise I have just done some stupid little something somewhere in my day each day. Last time I was reaching this point, I was ending the first session of the biggest loser contest and so was able to take a week "off" between ending that one and starting the next. I think it really helped me get back on track because I had to lose what I had gained that week and I did it and kept going. So I am thinking this means it's time for a little "off" time so I can recommit. Problem is, I will have plenty of "off" time starting next week when I go on vacation. Knowing that, why couldn't I just stay good for another week?

Okay, I've got to get it together. I've got to overcome this running issue and get control again with my food. I want to be of the right mindset so that while on vacation I won't let it all go and come back to large weight gain. I know I won't be on top of my exercise and food, after all, when will I get a chance again for real German food? But I do want to stay in control about my choices and hopefully keep at least some exercise happening. There is actually a bit of fear happening here. I don't want to have to work to re-lose the same pounds over again. I want to feel the resolve I felt a few weeks ago of knowing I had developed great new habits and would not let them fall aside again. I still have four days before we start our trip, so hopefully I can get out of this funk and back on track before I leave. And I WILL pack my running shoes!

Weigh in tonight. Down another pound. Slow and steady, right? That makes 35 pounds total lost since starting.

I made a small accomplishment today. Last week one of my run/walk sessions had to be short as I had someplace I had to be. Rather than skip (which would have been an old habbit), I went and decided to try to work it harder since I had less time. I have been running one lap, walking one lap, running one lap, walking one lap, etc. That night I ran doubles twice. Then Saturday morning while there, I ran doubles four times. Tonight, I ran doubles each time. That would be nine doubles, so 1.5 miles out of 2 miles I ran, walking the other half mile, plus a couple laps to cool down. While this is not really big in the overall scheme of things, and I know most others are running miles without stopping, for me this was good. I found my body is finally ready to be pushed a little harder. So I may not hit as many miles a week, but for now, to push harder for two miles each time works for me. I want my heart to be healthier, and this feels good.

Just a quick update. Life has been, well, let's just say very full lately. On our last day of school, we were caught completely off guard when 13 of my co-workers were given notice of being laid off. We really never saw it coming. In fact, a couple months ago we were all made to go to a meeting where we were assured our department was "safe" this year because we had been hit so badly last year. We were lied to. I still have a job at the moment, but what and where that job will be is currently up in the air. Apparently there is a complete restructuring happening, and "centralizing" seems to be the target. It would take me off site of my employees, which reverses every thought about why I was put there in the first place. There are some duties of my job I would be unable to do if not on site, which is why my manager said he is fighting against the idea. So, I hold my breath and wait. June was suppose to be a good month for me to take vacation as our location is being shut down for repaving and summer routes are being run from downtown. Now, I have no idea what will happen while I am gone for three weeks nor where I will be reporting to work when I get back. Nice thing to have hanging over my head while on vacation, huh? But I know, it could be worse. Just been a bad week in SO many ways, I am emotionally exhausted. Ever feel like you are being attacked from all sides? My current fantasy? To hide away all weekend and just sleep...........no issues.
Okay, enough of all that. In spite of things, I did get nearly all my exercise in this week. I had a few week moments on the food side of things, but actually did not do emotional eating....even though I have had plenty of reason to fall back into that cycle! I went a little off course last Saturday night when we were at the goth birthday party. And on Wednesday, as a "happy end of the year" gift one of my employees gave me a very small dark chocolate bar and reminded me how "good for you" dark chocolate is. Well, heck.....it's good for me, right? So yes, I ate it, but I shared it with the man that occassionally shares my office. Anyway, the results of all this at weigh-in last ngiht? Down 0.8 pounds. Not a lot, but under the circumstances of this week, I am pleased. I was sincerely afraid there would be a gain.
One quick note of a highlight of the week. Wednesday evening I got to hang out with my grandchildren so their parents could go out. I had SUCH a great time with them! They are so special. My daughter and her husband are doing an amazing job as parents. Those are the things that holds the soul together when the rest of the world is pulling it apart!

Another week has passed. I feel that I should probably be posting more often than I am, but I just don't feel I have anything newsworthy to share. This past week was pretty good. On Saturday night we went to a birthday party at a restaurant. I decided I would allow myself one indulgence, so I ordered the chicken parmesean sandwich, took off the bread (leaving chicken, bacon, and cheese...which is all good choices on my plan) with the fries (which was the indulgence). When it came, I gave half the fries to Steve. I felt good because I had made a choice to allow myself something, and then kept it in check by only taking half. However, (isn't there always one of those.....lol), when the birthday cake got served, I didn't resist and shared a piece with Steve. Okay, so the up part is that in both cases, I only had half of what I could have had. The down side is that I had just said how stuffed I felt from the dinner, but then ate the cake anyway. But other than that, I have been good with my food all week. On Saturday morning I actually got Steve to go to the track with me. He ususally walks everyday at home, but I think this is so much better for him than where he walks for many reasons. And since we have stopped our hikes on Saturday mornings, this is good so that I am doing something on Saturdays again. Last week we hit the track, and then went to an early showing of Star Trek. Last night he agreed to go with me again tomorrow, and perhaps we will hit the movies again afterwards to see Angel and Demons. Also, tomorrow night we have another birthday party to go to, but....get this. We are all suppose to dress "goth" and show up at the restaurant. This should prove interesting!! I was looking online last night at some goth web sites and actually learned a lot about the different types of goth dress and attitudes. It was really interesting and popped my stereo-type bubble I had. I will definitely have to share a picture here afterwards.

At my weigh-in last night, I was down 2.7 pounds to 186.3. I am SO happy to have stayed headed in the right direction! I was afraid of crossing back into the 190s. It would be so cool to be in the 170s at the end of this round of Biggest Loser. We actually have four more weeks to go, but I will miss the last week. I will probably weigh in on the last week on Monday before leaving town. So I actually have 3 1/2 weeks left.

Speaking of leaving town, did I mention that yet? We got our tickets last week and are Germany bound in June. My son and his wife are stationed there right now (Army), and we are going for a visit. I have lived there on three different occassions; when I was very young, when I was in high school, and when my son was born. It will be neat to show my son some of his history. Steve has never been, so it will be a brand new experience for him. We will be there 2 1/2 weeks. And on the trip back, we have a nearly 10 hour layover in London. It will be in the dark......10pm till 7am, but doesn't matter. I plan to rent a car and get out and see whatever I can see while there, as I have never been there and am likely to never be there again.

Here it is the morning after weigh-in, and I've somehow confused myself. I will have to call today to find out what my weigh-in was last week, because the number of total pounds lost is not seeming to add up right to where I thought I was last week. However, the scale last night was finally down into 180's. Well....189, actually, but still "in" them! That makes a total of 30.5 pounds lost since I started this in January. So I've crossed out of the 190's, and I've crossed the 30 pounds lost. The scary thing about saying all this is that now I have to be careful this next week to not screw up and cross back over to the other side of those two milestones. Here's where the fear of accomplishment meets the fear of losing. Cara has recently blogged about that, about how fear of being able to maintain a milestone can sometimes keep us from achieving it. That is SO true! I think about this complete process and wonder.......are these changes I'm making really going to be able to be life changes? I SOOO don't want to do all this just to gain it back and have to start over again some years down the road. I've been here before, BUT....I hope this time is different....that this time sticks. I believe I started this time around with a different attitude, different reasons for doing this, and a better support system in place. So I must stay positive and assume only the best ahead, knowing there will be setbacks, but also knowing they can be overcome. (Question is...am I trying to convince you or me....lol.)

Here it is a week later. I worked hard for half of the week. Friday, Saturday, & Sunday I didn't really do anything exercise-wise. Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday I went to the track. I went three miles on Monday, and two and a half miles on Tuesday and Wednesday, running half by alternating between running and walking laps. Stayed good on my food intake. Wait.....on Sunday we went to dinner at an Italian restaurant. I did have a slice of bread, and then lasagna. However, I only ate half the lasagna and gave the other half to Steve for lunch the next day. Anyway, results were still minimum. I lost 0.7 pounds this week. This week with last week makes a whole pound lost in two weeks. Combine that with the two previous weeks (when I gained while I took a break, and then lost what I had gained), and I have lost a whopping 1.1 pounds in four weeks. Not very impressive, huh? Our entire biggest loser class had only a 6 pound loss combined tonight. So not too good for everyone. Anyway, we are heading out tomorrow for another camping weekend. I have a map of the campgrounds, and it shows a hiking trail. Not sure how long it is, but I definitely will check it out while there. Also, everyone is discussing renting peddal boats or canoes......so that sounds like exercise to me!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Just a quick update since last weigh-in. I ended up not exercising last Friday night, went to a birthday gathering instead. Saturday I was running errands and as I started to run out of time I had to choose between hitting the track or going to a concert at the fair. I actually choose the track, so ran a couple more errands and then stopped by the track only to find it closed 4 hours earlier on Saturdays. So I missed the track and the concert....bummer. Sunday was my 5k walk for breast cancer. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I went to the track and did a minimum of 2 miles alternating between walking and running the laps. Last night I weighed in......down a whole .3. I know I should be happy with it being a loss, but I just felt so good about staying on track I was hoping for a better result. Guess that's how it goes, though. Hopefully next week will be better.

So.....tonight was weigh-in. Okay, dang it! I get to put my 25 pounds lost icon back up! Woohoo! Not only did I lose the 4.2 I gained last week, but I lost an additional .1 for a total of 4.3 pounds lost this week. That puts me at 25.2 pounds lost since starting this process.

Last night I went to the indoor track by myself. I did my two lap warm up of walking, then ran 2 and realized I would not be able to run two at a time the whole time as my leg was bothering me (I'm still working with getting the inside of these shoes right....finally have one level of support for one foot and a different for the other.) So, instead I ran one, walked one, ran one, walked one. It still meant I ran half of the distance. When I was doing my last lap to make two miles, I decided to go another lap for the heck of it. Well, then I decided to see if I could run another. Then I had to do a lap to cool down, but then I felt like I wanted to run another. I actually didn't want to stop. (Was that ME that just said that??) I was thinking maybe I would add another mile, but then the announcement came that the gym was closing in 8 minutes, and I still had to go downstairs to turn in the clicker. Bummer. So I did add half a mile for a total of 2.5 miles......half walking, half running. One of these days I will be able to put all that running together and do a mile non-stop.

There was a last minute decision made today for me to meet up with Steve and some of his family for a late lunch. He is back up in Phoenix visiting, but I won't be able to get up there before his niece leaves tomorrow morning, so we decided to meet half way for lunch. I suggested Cracker Barrel as I knew what exit it was and pretty much half way. On the drive up I kept thinking of all the good food they have. So I had decided that since tonight was weigh-in, I would eat the veggies and put the rest in a to-go box and have it AFTER weigh-in. Well, it turns out they have a full page of low carb meals with the carb count. Amazing! So, I got a meal that only had a total of 4 carbs. Needless to say, there was nothing to bring home, and it felt good to leave there without that "I'm stuffed" feeling. And tonight's weigh-in made saying no to those delicious looking pieces of cornbread all worth it!

Friday is normally my night off from exercising, but since Steve will still be out of town, maybe I'll get an extra night at the track in tomorrow. Haven't heard yet about our hike Saturday, but Sunday is my 5k walk for breast cancer. So all in all, this has been / will be a good week for putting the body in motion.

David.....Thank you for your words of encouragement! We just have to keep stepping forward, and the rest takes care of itself, right?

Has it really been 10 days since I blogged last? I guess in truth, I have been avoiding this, but it's time to get honest. After my last blog, I had 4 days until the starting weigh-in of the next biggest loser contest. Well, without boring you with the details, I got myself involved in a project Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday evenings that afforded me an excuse to not exercise. Actually, two of those nights, I could have if I had just planned better. But I didn't. I also was home alone those days as Steve was visiting family. I found myself with the thought that I would take the days "off" since my next weigh-in would be a starting point again, no harm or foul if I weighed more than my ending weight last round. I justified it by thinking I had been SO good for 12 weeks, I deserved a few days off. Well, I paid for it. After not exercising those days and eating basically anything I wanted (well....not anything I wanted, just didn't say no to things in front of me) I faced the weigh-in expecting to have gained a pound or two. Yeah...if only! I gained 4.2 pounds!! What??? Seriously??? Okay, you have to remember that through the first 12 weeks I always had a loss.....even if it was a small one. Giving myself permission for a small gain for the one week between contests was one thing, this was too much. I gained back almost 1/5th of what I had lost. OUCH!!! Guess that showed me. While it has no impact on this next round of the contest, it does mean having to lose those 4.2 pounds over again. Dang it! Guess that also means I have to take down my "25 pounds lost" icon.......sniff, sniff.

Okay, so get over it Lauri and make it right again. So, what have I done since? Well, that was last Thursday evening. Friday morning we left on a camping trip. Once there, we decided to go fishing, so everyone climbed into cars to drive down to the lake. NOT ME! I insisted on walking, and actually had a friend walk with me. Afterwards, I absent mindedly climbed back into the car when we were done, then realized as we drove across the parking lot, so made him stop to let me out so I could walk back up the hill. I behaved myself with food.....only one exception. As everyone was roasting marshmellows and making s'mores (sigh), I took one marshmallow and nibbled on it...no roasting, no chocolate, no graham crackers. Not great, I know, but at least I avoided the other ingredients. Next day a friend and I went on an exploration walk. So, I did get in some exercise and stayed pretty much on plan with food. Monday night I went out and did my two mile walk/run. Definitely could tell I've been away from the running too long. Last night I met a friend and we went to an indoor track. Running was much better. One of these days I will be able to run a mile without stopping, but that is still a long ways off, probably. But instead of walking two, running one like we did before, we walked two, ran two. (A lap is only 1/12th of a mile, so still a small feat.) It felt good and it was an improvement. So weigh-in is tomorrow evening. Not having a decent scale at home, I don't know where I stand. Any chance I could lose in a week what I gained in a week? It is extremely windy today, very high gusts, so I think I will go back to the indoor track tonight. I will update after my weigh-in tomorrow night. Cross your fingers!

Wow! I'm back from a wonderful time at Country Thunder!!!! The weather was fabulous this year! Could not have asked for better. In years past it has been much warmer in the daytime, in the 90's. That makes it more of a challenge to sit out in the hot sun for the earlier shows. This year it was in the 80's with breeze. In fact, one day the wind was WAY more than a breeze. Tents were flying, chairs were rolling, etc. But it made sitting out in the sun to watch the shows much more comfortable. (We will ignore the fact that the winds were so bad for awhile that the grit on our skin and dirt in our hair was unimaginable!) Anyway, the weather was great, the shows were great, all was good! This was my eighth year, seventh camping. Already looking forward to next year.........man it's a long way off!

I admit, while I was out there, I was not my best in the food department. Everyday I had something not on plan. But, it wasn't all day long. And I did lots of walking. We figured the walk from our tent to the show was about 3/4 mile one way. So, on Wed I walked 1.5 miles, on Thur I walked 4.5 miles, on Fri I walked 3 miles, and on Sat I walked 4.5 miles. That's just the back and forth, not all the incidental walking I did across the field for the venders and food and portapotties. So all in all, I am not feeling badly about my time this weekend.

Oh.....and the important thing. I stopped for weigh-in at the Biggest Loser on the way out of town on Wednesday. I was down another 2.8 pounds! Woohoo! After not getting to work out as much the previous week, I was concerned. That meant a total of 25.1 pounds for the contest. Vera told me I lost 12% of my body weight. Well, on Thursday I got a text from my friend that is also in the contest, and she said I won!!! When I signed up for this 12 weeks ago, I had no belief in the idea of winning. I just wanted some motivation, some accountablilty, and to see if I could get some friends to join in with me. I NEVER expected to win. But now the challenge starts all over. I have joined the next group and the first weigh-in for this one is this coming Thursday. There will be new people there, and there will be another person there like me, that has just decided to take care to lose pounds and will be able to outdo us all. I know how this works. The more recent the pounds are put on, the more easily they come off. Well, I think I have taken off my "easier" pounds at this point. I know I will have to work harder to keep accomplishing what I have done so far. Knowing that, I don't expect to win again, I just expect to stay motivated and making progress. For me, THAT will be winning!

Also, for those of you that stopped by to say hello from my brother's (David) blog, thank you. It is amazing how helpful it is to be able to share these struggles and successes with others that really understand.

I found out today that I will not be attending the last class of this session of Biggest Loser. But before you think the worse, I have made arrangements to go for my last weigh-in on Wednesday on my way out of town. I stopped by the fitness center today to let Vera know I wouldn't be there and why and to pay for the next session. She told me that while they can't say anything for sure until everyone weighs in on Thursday, she could say that I was a contender for winning the contest. Since it is by percentage, I have lost over 10 percent of my body weight.

Now, to the reason I will miss. There is a thing that happens every year here in Arizona (also in Wisconsin) called Country Thunder. It is four days of camping and country stars. I have been the last 7 years, and wasn't sure if I would be able to go this year. But today I managed to get my hands on some tickets and a camp site. I already had the days on the calendar to be off work(it gets put on the calendar at work as soon as the dates get announced). So off we go again this year. In the past my daughter and her husband as joined us a few times. Other friends have joined us. And my best friend has been there as well. This year, my best friend will be there, but because of getting tickets at different times, our campsites are no where near one another :-( It's okay, though. We can still hang out together. While it's true I have already seen all of the headline acts, it doesn't matter. It's Country Thunder!!!

For anyone that is a country music fan.......here is the lineup.


WEDNESDAY - APRIL 1, 2009
6:30 - The Bellamy Brothers
8:15 - Jake Owen
10:00 - Diamond Rio

THURSDAY - APRIL 2, 2009
2:00pm - Zac Brown Band
3:30pm - Keith Anderson
5:00pm - Little Big Town
6:15pm - Williams & Ree
7:00pm - Rodney Atkins
9:00pm - Montgomery Gentry

FRIDAY - APRIL 3, 2009
1:00pm - Harry Luge Jr.
2:00pm - Hal Ketchum
3:30pm - Jason Michael Carroll
5:00pm - Heidi Newfield
6:15pm - Williams & Ree
7:00pm - Tracy Lawrence
9:00pm - Tim McGraw

SATURDAY - APRIL 4, 2009
1:00pm - Tim & Willy and The All Earl Band
2:00pm - The Lost Trailers
3:30pm - Jack Ingram
5:00pm - Neal McCoy
6:15pm - Williams & Ree
7:00pm - Blake Shelton
9:00pm - Alan Jackson

Tonight was my first night back out my 2 miles. It went well. I did my spurts of running during the first mile on the way down. By time I was headed back, it was already dark, and it was tough to see the ground. I ran some, but walked more because of that. I was running errands after work and racing to get home before the sun had set. I could watch it sinking as I was fighting traffic to get across town. Three months ago, if you told me I would have the attitude of racing the sun home so I could get out and walk/run, I would have laughed at you. Any easy excuse in the past would have been fine for me. But I don't want excuses.....I want success!

Since I will weigh in on my way out of town Wednesday morning, I won't be able to post the results until I get back on Sunday. Until then.....wishing everyone a great week ahead!

Okay, time to catch up and explain. First, I didn't make it to my weigh-in on Thursday. I wasn't feeling well for many reasons, and once I got home I just didn't get back out again to go. But let me back up a bit.

A couple blogs back I talked about getting new shoes and how much I loved them. Well, I didn't talk about them as the week progressed. My first night out with them had been great! I was able to run more than I had before, so was excited about getting out there Monday night. Well, Monday night I went out and had the worst two miles I have had yet. Nothing felt right, I could barely get any running in, and I was feeling some pain. I figured it was because with new shoes my feet were hitting differently and so using the muscles differently and that was what I was feeling. So I mostly walked my two miles and came home very disappointed, but not giving up. Tuesday night I went out and did better, but still had pain. Same thing Wednesday night. Thursday, I mentioned this to someone at work, and they said it sounded like something they had gone through....shin splints. So I looked it up online and it sounded right. Okay.....the Mayo Clinic website said to stop the activity and to do something like swimming or biking. So now I was bummed. I don't need any excuses to not do this, I can find those all too easily on my own. But I felt that I really needed to not do the workout Thursday night. That was the final straw that kept me home. I also wasn't feeling well in general, with sinuses bothering me to include a headache, felt awful because of that time, and just felt worn out. So I stayed home and slept.

Now, Friday is usually my night off from working out, so that gave me a second night off. Saturday is normally our hikes, but our primary hikers have started back on a softball team and there was a Saturday morning practice, so no hike. Okay, so now that has given me three days off. I took my shoes and went back to FeetFleet to explain the problem I am having to see if they felt I needed to try another shoe or inserts. After explaining it all, we decided to give inserts a try. So now I am suppose to wear the shoes around for an hour or so before I start working out in them again. I have to go to work tomorrow, so I will wear them in for awhile. Then I will try to get out for my two miles again tomorrow evening. I have been told that when I get back, I need to stretch my calves, and then ice down my shins, and I should be able to get past this. If things are not better in a few weeks, then I have to go back to try a different type of shoe. I want this to get better. I don't want an excuse to not do this. I don't want to be someone that is told not to run. Granted I don't really do a lot of running right now, but what I have been doing is working, and I want to get better at it, not have to cut back. While losing weight is wonderful, my main focus here is that I want to get healthier and be healthier, especially with my heart. There are so many problems in my family, I don't want to go down that road. This WILL get better, I just know it. I have to be patient while I work through it.

As for the weigh-in, well, I had a doctors appointment on Friday, and while her scale may not match the one used at Biggest Loser, it had me down at least a little. Different time of day, different clothing, different scale, etc. But it's all good. I feel confident that I didn't gain anything. Only one week left of this session. There was an article in today's paper telling about the contest. They used quotes from one of the contestants that has lost 10 pounds. The article said there were some people that had lost 10-20 pounds. Since they used 20 as their top end number, I am hoping my 22.3 (as of last weigh-in) is a forerunner. But, the winner is to be decided by percentage, not total pounds. So we will see.

Tonight will be weigh-in, and I'm concerned. I just don't feel that I've lost. I've been pretty good this week. I did have a meal on Saturday night that was outside my diet. (We went out to dinner with friends for Mexican food......I challenge you to find low carb food in a Mexican restaurant..........okay...maybe I didn't try hard enough...lol) But I have worked myself everyday. I was a bit bad yesterday......well...maybe half bad? It's that time of the month and when that happens I crave chips SO badly. Many women crave chocolate.....not me. I assume it is the salt I am craving, but other salty things don't cut it.....I want chips. Well, yesterday for lunch I had not taken anything, so I went into the grocery store to get an acceptable lunch. I was doing so good......and then there was that craving again.....and there I was in a store just full of all kinds of choices....all of my favorites. Well, I didn't do the completely right thing and just say no, but what I did do was buy some GenSoy chips instead. Not potatoe chips, not tortilla chips, but soy chips. Fewer carbs. Not great, but better than a bag of Doritos or Lays would have been. So I was bad about giving in, but I was good about making the healthier choice. Anyway, we'll see what this all means at weigh-in tonight. I'll let you know.

What a difference! I actually did it. I went to "FleetFeet" and was fitted for shoes. I had been feeling like something wasn't quite right with the way my right heel felt in my shoes. At a workout at BL one night, someone was running behind me and said she could see that my right foot wasn't hitting quite right and how she had gone to FleetFeet and what a difference it had made. So, I decided that once I got my tax return, I would go check it out. I did so tonight. After all the measuring and such, I was put on a treadmill while they recorded my bare feet walking. There it was, right on the screen.......my right foot doing it all wrong. She brought out four different style shoes for me to try on and as we eliminated two, I was left choosing between two. I made the choice and came home to try them out. WOW!!! I can not tell you the difference they made! Seriously! They cost me $105, but worth every penney! Tonight's run/walk was after eating, which wasn't the best thing (I do much better before I eat.). I've been running and walking in intervals over my two miles. I don't have any formal measurements happening, just run until I feel I need to walk, then walk until I am ready to run. However, there is a sign at the end of the road that says 1000 feet to dead in. I know, it's only 1000 feet, but for me trying to make that full 1000 feet without stopping at all has been my big challenge. Tonight, I did it!......only one direction, but hey. I'm anxious for tomorrow night now, so that I can do it both directions! Here's to the start of a great week ahead!

Here it is Thursday, again. Weigh-in night. Let me start by saying I did something every day this week. Saturday was the hike, Sunday Steve and I took a fast paced 2 mile walk, Monday I did my run/walk 2 miles, Tuesday I met Connie and walked the indoor track for two miles (with a few of those laps jogging), Wednesday I again did my run/walk 2 miles, and then tonight was our Biggest Loser workout. So I worked it all week. And the results?...............Down 4.1 pounds!!! That makes a total of 22.3 pounds in 10 weeks of BL. I am quite happy with that. Today at work as I was going into another office, someone stopped me and said "you are losing your butt". Thank you for noticing!!! I have to admit, all week I have felt fat. I didn't think this would be a good week. Today I felt a bit more positive, guess the butt comment helped...lol. I was definitely surprised with the results. I like the idea of not having a good scale at home so that I don't know until weigh-in. The scale we do have, I step on now and then to see if it looks as if it's going up or down. But because the scale is so fickel, (I can step on it three times and get three different numbers), I don't put a lot of faith into it. Tomorrow is Friday, and Friday is usually my one night of the week I don't do any workout. If we go out with our friends, I barely have time to get home from work and changed to head back into town. And that's okay. After this week, I deserve the night off :-)

Weekend went well. Went to a BBQ/Party Friday night........FOOD EVERYWHERE! I did really good, though. I drank four bottles of water while there, had a hamburger, no bun. I did end up taking a couple bites of cream cheese pie off Steve's plate. Did plenty of dancing to burn it off, though....lol. Saturday morning was our hike. We went to a new area to try some new trails. The map showed the trails, but didn't show the elevations. We headed out on a trail that kept going up and up. I don't just mean an incline, I mean a climb. We kept thinking it was going to crest at the top of what we could see, only to find just before the top it would go around behind it and take us up farther on the next "mountain". A couple times we debated about going back, but decided to move ahead. It was a real workout as it was a real climb. We finally did get as high as it was going to take us. With relief, we knew we then only had down to go. Well, we decided that we liked the "up" better. Going down was quite treacherous at times. I can't believe how steep parts of it were. The side we came up on had a maintained trail, this one was not. There were lots of loose rocks and soil. At one point I lost my footing and went down. Fortunately I fell backwards and landed on my butt. I had a water bottle in one hand, so that hand was okay, but the other hand got messed up somewhat. (And yesterday I could feel it in my ankle.) We blamed it partially on the shoes I had on, as they are a pair of warn out sneakers. (I am headed out to get a pair of true hiking shoes next weekend.) So we continue on, and eventually my friend takes a fall, also. So now comes the embarrassingly honest part. There were three different places on this trail that became so steep that I literally sat down and slid my way a foot or two until I could get better footing. So at moments I was a bit nervous. However, we made it down and felt so good that we had done it. I would love to do that same trail again in reverse. I would rather climb the unmaintained part and go down the better part. By time I got home, I was sore in my shoulders and back from catching myself with my arms. I ended up climbing under a blanket and taking a nap. Yesterday, I didn't do much, but did take my two mile walk. I am including a picture from the hike. This was taken before we got to the top. Those are actually houses you see out there.

Last night was weigh-in. Down another pound. That makes a total of 18.2. But even more, I crossed the 200 pound barrier! I weighed in at 199.2. How wonderful would it be to think of never seeing the 200s again in my life? I am afraid to get too excited, though, because it's just barely under. Never know, next week could end up being my first gain week with the BL and I could see it again. But you know that it gives me even more reason to behave this next week! Also, it means making a doctor appointment for a physical. I told my fiancee that I would make the appointment once I got under 200, because I didn't want to have that on my physical. Now.....what are the odds his scale will be as kind? I figure my BL weigh-ins are always in the evenings, so if I can get an early appt with the doctor, that should help, right? Isn't it funny the little games we play to beat the scale?

On a different note, I got to see my granddaughter get her first award in front of her school yesterday. Principal's award. I still can't believe she is finishing up kindergarten this year!

Just want to share a good feeling. Tonight I worked later than planned, so decided instead of stopping at the gym I would come home and do my two miles. Usually I walk it at a fast pace, and sometimes try to run a little here and there, but don't get much of that in. Well, tonight I can say I ran half of it. Not all at once, in intervals. But that means I ran a total of about a mile. I was actually concerned that because I have been doing other kinds of workouts the last couple weeks, that the walk would feel like I had lost progress. Evidently, those other workouts were of the right kind to keep me up to par and then some. I find that the running doesn't better my time because when I walk between the runs, the walk is a bit slower than my fast walk as I catch my breath and let my heart rate slow a bit. But that's okay. I'm not worried about the time, but rather the increase of the workout. The road that I take has several "hills", so I made sure that everytime I came to an incline, I ran it. The very last one on my way back home was a challenge, especially being right at the end, but I did it. The whole experience felt wonderful! Now, here's hoping it wasn't a fluke.

David.......A hula hoe is a contraption that you use to scrape the ground to get up weeds. A few moments into it, and it's not a fun chore. I had never heard of one till living here. You would not believe how fast desert weeds take hold in my yard....it's a nightmare.

Okay, so I did manage to get over to my place to do a little yard work tonight. Not a lot, but some. I used the hula hoe in my front yard and then raked it. My side yard needs lots of work, but I knew I didn't have the time to give to it tonight. So while I didn't get a real workout in tonight, I did at least do something to be in motion. While there I decided to grab a bite before the workshop. We have our big freezer there, so figured there would be something. I found chicken strips, but once I started microwaving them, it was apparent that they were not good. Not sure how long they have been in there. So, I ended up being bad and heating up a few toquitoes. They were so good, but so bad. I hate to think how many total carbs I ate. So one small victory....at least managed to do something before the workshop, but a defeat because I gave in to food I shouldn't have. Additionally, the workshop was just a waste of time. I would have been better off just skipping it and getting in a good workout. Oh well, water under the bridge now.

Well, I didn't do yardwork tonight. I called my friend to confirm we were doing the 5:30 class and she suggested we go to the 4:3o class as well. So I rushed out of work to get there. The first class was another class with the big balls. It was good. Then we had a little time to kill before the next class, so I got on a bike machine and rode 1.85 miles. Then did the 2nd class. So I worked out for one hour and 45 minutes straight. It definitely felt good. In one week I have come to feel so comfortable at that gym. But tonight was the last night of the free pass. And I just can't afford the commitment financially required to join. So, tomorrow I am back on my own. Depending on what time I get done at work as to what I do. I think I am going to a workshop at 6pm. I am hoping to get off work and either hit the track or go by my place and do some yard between work and the workshop. If I can get my butt to work a little earlier tomorrow, then I can leave a little earlier affording me the time to do something.

Well, here it is the end of another weekend. They always seem to go too fast. I pretty much behaved this weekend with food. Our Saturday hike was only four miles this week, and not extremely challenging terrain-wise. I was bad today and didn't go for a walk or anything else. Tomorrow night I am suppose to join my friend in an exercise class. I have time to kill between work and the class, so I will probably go do yard work at my house. Working the hula hoe on the weeds is definitely an upper body workout.

Only four weeks left in this round of Biggest Loser. I was thinking about it today and wondering if I stand anywhere near having a chance of winning. We say who the biggest loser is each week, but I have no idea where things stand with overall weight loss. Those that have been the biggest loser could have gained some back afterwards. In fact, I know several of them did. So maybe I do stand a chance. But with four more weeks left, anything could happen. I need to think about this as an additional motivation to keeping to my plans of food and exercise. If by some surprising chance I did win, it would give me the money to sign up again for the next round. But I can't count on that as I may not even be in the running. Guess we'll know in four weeks.

Well, I've done it again. I've let a whole week go by without blogging. It seems I get on here and start reading everyone else's blogs, and then I don't have time to write my own. So now I have to catch up again.

The weekend went well. The first afternoon we were out camping, I had such a huge urge for chips. More specifically, nacho flavored doritos. I mean, what is camping without chips, right? Steve agreed about wanting some and said he had thought about bringing some, but knew it would be tough for me. At that point, all I knew was I wanted some. The next day he asked about getting in the car and finding the nearest store so I could get some. And believe it or not, I told him no. Believe me, I did want them........I could almost taste them. But I stayed on track and behaved while we were out there.

This week, I have to confess, I did sin. Three words........Girl Scout Cookies. Oh man. Tagalongs. I bought a box of them from someone at work and had them in my office fridge. Well, I did eat a couple a day until they were gone. Well, a couple a couple days, more than a couple on a couple days. I know, I know. I should have taken one and then dropped the box off at the office next door and got rid of them. Each day this week on my way to work I would think how I needed to do that, but then I didn't. Well, they are all gone now. So no more temptation in the office. And it will be another year before that temptation is at my door again.

Otherwise, I have done well this week. Got my water in most days. Stayed good with my food. My friend got a week-long pass for me to go with her to her gym, Ms. Fit. So I went with her Tuesday and Wednesday night. First night we hit machines for cardio and some arm machines. Second night we took a class with the big balls, then hit the cardio machines again. Tonight we had our biggest loser class. I'm not sure yet if she is planning on going tomorrow night. But we have our hike this Saturday, and then I am going with her on the last day of my pass on Monday to a Zoomba class (that is an uncertified Zumba class). So I have definitely been moving this week.

Tonight was weigh-in. Down 1.7 pounds. Making small weekly strides, but hopefully they will stick. That is now a total of 17.2 pounds lost. I'll take it!

Okay, gotta keep this one short and sweet. Weigh-in was not great, but not bad, either. I had carried a few dollar bills in with me, just in case. But I was down.....whew! Down 1.1 pounds. For our workout tonight, they took us out of the building and had use do a power walk with pushing for jogging/running. I ran more tonight than I have on my own lately. I just kept telling myself what my sister-in-law says.......it doesn't have to be fast. So at one point I was jogging next to a power-walker at the same pace while we were talking. Okay, it worked.

Headed out to the lake in the morning. See you all when I get back.

Already Thursday Again

Wow! It's already Thursday again and I haven't blogged since the weekend. Well, I think I have done well so far this week in the food area. However, I haven't been getting my walks in. I have had to spend the time from when I get off work until after dark working over at my house painting and such instead. (House = major other issue.) It would be nice to say that I was working enough there to make up for the walking, but that would be a lie. Tonight is weigh in, so we will see how it goes. I feel like my clothes are more loose this week, but the last time I felt I noticed it more was the worst week of weight loss. So I am not banking on that. Have to see. Maybe one day I'll buy a decent scale to have in the house so I can follow better. But...I kinda like not having one here so I get my feedback once a week. (I have an old scale here, but it depends on how you stand on it, how many times you stand on it, etc.....so it is far from accurate enough to let me know about a couple of pounds.)

There will be no hike this weekend. For many of us Tucsonians, it is a four day weekend. This is "Rodeo Week" in Tucson. I LOVE the rodeo and parade and rodeo concert that is involved. However, many locals use the time to get out-of-town for the weekend because it is not an official holiday, therefore cheaper and less crowded at most places. So lots head to Vegas, San Diego, Rocky Point, MX, etc. Some years I have stayed and enjoyed the local events. This weekend, however, we are going camping. Staying in town today so I can make my Biggest Loser class tonight, then heading out early in the morning for two nights. Several of the other hikers are also heading out of town. I am hoping that the place we are camping will afford me the opportunity to do some hiking on my own. I have never been there, so I'm not sure yet.

Well, I have to go finish getting things ready for our adventure tomorrow, so I need to get off this computer. I will be back this evening to post the results of my weigh in. See ya then.

Happy Surprise

Here it is Saturday night. We had our hike today. It wasn't as long as last week's. We had someone in our group that could not put in as much time, so we started earlier and cut it a little short. I believe it was almost 4.5 miles. Afterwards, a fellow BL went with me to check on the gym. The orientation class was already full, so we didn't get to become certified to use the weight room. We did check out the rest of the place. The track is really nice except that it's short, so it takes 12 times around to make a mile. We joked about who we would have to bring to sit and count our laps for us. Anyway, looks like she and I are going to try to get to the next orientation class on Tuesday morning if we can work it out around our work schedules. In the meantime, we can drop in and use the track if we want. Don't know yet if we will try to do that before Tuesday or not. I am excited about going.

I was so pleasantly surprised when I logged on to read Cara's blog tonight. She had a link for a blog my brother has started. I love that I will get to read his thoughts as he shares in this same battle we are all fighting. He is an amazing man. And I know that once he sets his mind to something, I mean really sets it, nothing is going to get in his way. I hate that we have lived so far away from one another for so many years, so this will be a way to feel a bit closer.

This week's weigh-in

Okay, this one has to be fairly quick as I should already be in bed. Tonight was weigh-in. I'm proud to say I was the biggest loser from our group this week. Unfortunately, it's because as a whole, our group didn't do so well. But I was down another 2.6 pounds. That's a total so far of 14.3. Seems like it's already been forever to only be that far, but I have to keep things in perspective, and it's really not a bad total loss.

This week I only got in my walk last night, and then had the workout at our meeting tonight. Tomorrow night probably won't get my walk in, so maybe I'll get a chance to go to the park during lunch and do some walking. Then we are meeting at 7am (ugh) Saturday morning for our weekly hike. I'm hoping perhaps the timing will be right afterwards to stop by a new fitness center I have heard about and get their "instruction class" so I can start going there. It's a place run by city parks, so it is very inexpensive. $1.25 per visit, or $35 for three months. Sounds great to me. I understand they have an indoor track, workout room with weights and cardio machines, heated pool that will open again in April, and much more.

Anyway, my bed is calling. I really need some sleep tonight. More later.

You Got Me

Okay, so Cara called me on it. It's been a week since I last wrote. And what a week it has been. Lots of issues happening within my life, but that's a different subject. We are here for the weight issue. Well, at weigh-in on Thursday I was down 0.8 pounds. Not much, I know, but a surprise none the less. I actually went in with cash in hand expecting to have gained. The workout was a real doosie. We were using those half-ball things for part of it (I forget what she called them). I discovered I don't have great balance! But it was a good workout. In fact, I went a bit overboard. I could feel my calves were getting too much, but not wanting to look like I couldn't handle it, I kept trying to keep up with the higher intensity version. I knew I would regret it later, and I did. It always seems I am not sore from the Thursday night workout until late Friday or Saturday morning. Well, we had our hike this Saturday morning and oh boy! We hiked 6.3 miles this week, and it took the first three miles for my calves to finally loosen up and quit screaming at me. The whole hike was just off for me. I am usually up with the front three people keeping a great pace. For some reason I just couldn't seem to sinc up with them. I know in the beginning it was because my calves hurt too badly, but once I got past that, I still just couldn't seem to get into it right. So I fell behind the front group I usually hike with, but was still ahead of the slower part of our group. I also know a large part of this is probably because I did not do my walks this week....not since our hike last weekend. Hmmm....a lesson to learn there, huh? The hike itself was really cool. Lots of climbing.....funny how it seems you go up much more than you go down, isn't it? We were on familiar trail most of the way, and then added a new trail while we were the farthest out. We ended up at a small dam. Because of our cold weather last week, we had snow on the mountains, and it was melting. There was actually water running through some of the creeks. Living in the desert, that is always a special treat. It really was beautiful! Okay, so this week will be better. I will get back to my walks, and do better with my food and water. I wasn't especially bad last week, just never got all my water in, and it seems every day I had one little something with too many carbs.....seriously, just a little something, but they add up obviously. And I know being stressed makes your body less willing to let the weight go, so hopefully this week will be better all around!

Thanks, Cara, for the encouring words! You are awesome!

Catch-up

So here it is Sunday night and I haven't written since Tuesday. Wasn't really excited with my weigh-in last Thursday. I was down one pound. I know, I know......at least it was down. But I had been SOOO good at getting in all my water, and wasn't feeling hungry hardly ever, so my food intake was minimum. But....I wasn't my best on Superbowl Sunday or at lunch with my son Tuesday. However, I did get my walks in and my workout at the BL meeting. Didn't walk Friday night a I spent the evening with my family :-) Saturday we hiked. This time a little over five miles. We took a new trail that was more of a workout. More ups and downs....definitely had us breathing hard! It felt great! Didn't walk today. I just didn't think of it this morning as my walks are usually in the evening. It started raining this afternoon and has kept going. It might be raining tomorrow also.....so maybe (yes, I said *maybe*) I'll stop by the YMCA. That will require facing the shame of having not been there in many months, but so be it. I haven't been getting all my water in this weekend. Things have been off kilter, but routine should be back starting tomorrow, so I plan to easily get the water back on track.

I have to take a moment here to brag about my sister-in-law. If you read my very first blog, you know she is the one that has inspired me to start this blog. Well, she ran her very first 5 km race yesterday!! Yes....RAN!! I am SO proud of her and how far she has come. Keep up the great work, Cara! I love you!

Here's to a great week ahead.

He's A Sweetie

First things first. I have to give credit where it is due. My guy has actually taken time to read through some of my blogs. When he read about my struggle the other night with the ice cream he felt badly thinking he was a part of the problem. I told him it was not his problem, but mine. I need to learn to deal with my internal issues. He offered to only have ice cream when I'm not around. I told him he didn't need to do that, but if he could just maybe go to a different flavor that would help. He's such a sweetie when he wants to be! As of yet, he hasn't had any more ice cream in front of me. I don't want that to be the way things have to be, so I will encourage him to have some one of these nights to let him know it's okay. Anyway, I just wanted to share that.

I tried the Zumba class last night with two other ladies from our BL class. It reminded me a lot of line dancing, just different moves and music, and I'm sure it would be fun with the right people, but none of the three of us was too terribly impressed with it for a real workout at this point. Maybe down the road, but not for now. And, it is a bit pricey.

I did my two mile walk tonight. It was the first time since last Wednesday when I had such a hard time with it. (Thursday night was class, Friday I didn't walk because we went out after work with friends, Saturday was the hike, Sunday was superbowl, so back to today.) I had no problem getting my water in today. I just couldn't seem to get enough for awhile. Was fairly good with the food. I got to have lunch with my son (yeah!), so he picked Arby's. I ordered the chicken cordon bleu, no sauce, and then took it out of the bun. So it was chicken, ham, and a little cheese sauce (most of it stayed on the bun). Only problem is the chicken had a breading on it. Also (ouch....yes, there is an also) I had 4 mozerella sticks.....which were also breaded. Not so great there. Okay....I can do better tomorrow.

How About Those Steelers!!!!! WooHoo!

What a GREAT game the Superbowl was!!! I am so happy the Steelers won, mainly for my son. The room was crowded with Arizona fans.....nothing but red everywhere! So my son and I were the only black and gold colors in the room. Ahhhh......sweet victory! It was a great party!

I think I handled the food part of the day well. We got there and yes, there were already tons of food there with more yet to arrive. Eating was going on constantly. But I checked myself and I wasn't really hungry, so I left the food alone. A while later when I did feel myself getting hungry, I ate. Yes, I ate carbs. But I stayed in control of the amount. I ate a bit of nachos....not a full bowl....just put some chips on about a third of my plate and scooped some cheese over them. I also had 5 of those little weenies rolled in cresent rolls. That was enough, I was done. I walked away feeling plenty satisfied. Now, admittedly, later in the evening when desserts started being cut into, I did have a small piece of the cream cheese pie we had brought over. And later, we had a birthday boy there with a cake that looked so good. I originally said no thank you to any of it. But I did end up eating 2 or 3 bites (not huge) off of my guy's piece. That was a "cave-in" moment. But that's okay. The rest of what I ate I had thought out and decided I would eat before I did. They were not moments of weekness. It was planned cheating, I guess, but because it was planned I stayed in control. And considering ALL the food that was there, all the mexican food that looked so good, and all the desserts, I am actually feeling good about how I handled the day. OH......and I got in my four bottles of water while I was there, too. I had taken one soda with me, but never opened it. Just drank water the entire time. No soda, no shots, no anything else. As we got home I started to feel hungry. But I didn't give into it. I knew I had eaten enough food and that the feeling hungry was probably just the blood sugar levels changing because of the carbs I had eaten. So I went to bed without reacting to it.

Tonight I may try a new exercise class with a few other ladies from our biggest loser class. It's Zumba.....suppose to be dance exercise class. I let you know how it goes.

Here's to Monday and a great start to a successful week!

Last Night's Struggle

Yesterday morning we went on our weekly hike. The trail we covered this time was 4.8 miles. This week felt much easier than the first two weeks. Not sure why except that I'm getting use to them. Soon we will have to bump the distance up. We can see some trails that will take us on a much longer and more difficult route and are looking forward to when we can attempt those. Those trails will require us to pack some food and commit a larger portion of the day. But it is something we are all looking forward to. In the meantime, we went to breakfast afterwards and I was better this time. I only had an omelet with meat and cheese in it. I did have my diet soda, first one since last week's breakfast. So I have been good.

I do have to say, I had a really rough time last night internally. I had to struggle with some emotions regarding food and being good. For anyone that doesn't know, ice cream is one of the top three favorite foods in the world to me.......and more to the point, chocolate chip cookie dough. I love to have some in the evening while watching tv. That's just how it is. But of course, I have not been doing that. Now, when you live with other people, you can't expect them to give up what you yourself can't have. That's not fair. So when he mentioned before about there being ice cream in the house, I was okay. Last night I actually spotted the ice cream in the freezer and realized it was.......of all flavors......chocolate chip cookie dough. AHHHH!!!! So later he mentioned he might have some and I could feel the emotional struggle inside. No, I knew I wasn't going to have any, but dang it! Well, as I worked myself out of the feelings, he never got any. Okay, I survived the moment. A little later in the evening, still feeling a bit deprived of my ice cream, I decided to see if I could find something sensible to nibble on. Well, I decide I would slice up a hotdog very thin and fry the pieces to give me bites of something to nibble on. I should have just not done anything, because that went back to the idea of eating in front of the tv, something I need to learn not to do. Anyway, I started to slice up my hotdog when what happens? He comes in to get ice cream. He's standing RIGHT BESIDE ME. I see the box. I read the words "chocolate chip cookie dough". I hear the rriiiiiippp of the strip being pulled off the box to open it. (Sweet music!) My inner soul is churning! Then he tells me how he always has a hard time getting those boxes open. So, I reach over and grab the box and open it for him (a skill I know all too well). He grabs a spoon and walks away eating MY FAVORITE ice cream out of the box. I stand there trying to get my composure back and I just wasn't strong enough. I walked away to the bathroom and ended up getting in the shower. (The shower has always been my safe place to go when I know tears are coming.) It was awful. All I could think was the unfairness of it all. Some people smoke, drink, eat all they want without gaining, and much worse. I have never smoked, never touched any kind of drugs, could easily live my life without another drop of alcohol in it, but my vice is enjoying the wrong foods. So why is it other people can do ALL of the above without issue while I can't even enjoy the foods I want. It is just so unfair. So as I release all these emotions into tears while in the shower, I start to try to think my way out of it. First, I can't be mad at him because he wants to enjoy ice cream (but did it have to be THAT flavor?) Second, I'm only 2 and a half weeks into this. I have to remember my goals and remember what it is I have to learn while getting there. Intuitive eating......that's how it was put to us in our biggest loser class last week. She tells us no food is off limits if we learn to eat intuitively. We learn to eat when we are physically hungry, not emotionally hungry. Everything about last night was emotional hunger. I was physically satisfied with my dinner and not hungry. And once I get where I want to be with my weight, I can learn again how to enjoy those special treats as special treats. A rare offering in a much smaller scale, granted. And I know that will be the tough part. That is why I don't allow myself "just a little" of those things right now. A little would not be enough. I would want more, and I'm not ready to handle that yet. And in the meantime, he can have all the ice cream of whatever flavor he wants, because this is not about him. This is about what I am doing for ME! No one else. And as much as I would like to temptation-proof my home environment, that's just not possible when there are other people in the picture. Our biggest loser leader talks a lot about how our environments (home, work, places we go) tend to take control of us, but we have to get that control back. If we can't change our environment or not go where the temptations are, then we have to learn to overcome then so that WE are in charge, not the environment. Just late at night after being good all day, I guess my defenses are a bit down and it's a little more difficult for me. But....I won last night. I didn't have any ice cream. And when I got out of the shower, I went into the kitchen and put the hotdog slices I had prepared in the fridge. I didn't need those either. I came back into the living room getting my mind where it needed to be. It was a tough struggle, but I did it. One of many, many struggles yet to come, I know.

And today is Superbowl.....and we are headed off to my son's in-laws. There will be SO MUCH food (Mexican families always have tons of food when guests are coming.) This will be a tough day, to say the least. I have decided that I will not refuse everything in front of me. Today I may (actually most likely) stray some. But my plan is to scope it all out, decide if there is something that I know I will give in to, and then plan to have some when I feel the physical need, not the emotional need, to eat. Tiny amounts. And staying as close to no carbs as possible. (Not sure that is possible with mexican food...lol). Anyway, I will not beat myself up while in the presence of all these people, but I have promised myself that I WILL be in control. I WILL think before I eat. I WILL not have to come home feeling guilty.

Good luck to everyone else facing this struggle today........AND GO STEELERS!